Setting:The BLAME GAME courtroom set. The jury consists mainly of disgruntled teenyboppers. Justin is wearing huge black pants with the shirt you see him in up there. Britney is wearing a slutty Catholic school uniform with her hair in braids and fuzzy pink things in her hair.
Judge Reed: Hello, and welcome to today's BLAME GAME! Today we have the case of the B-Ball Boy Vs. The Bubble Butted Fake Boobed Hoochie. Let's welcome our blame game counselors Kara Macanara and Jason Winer (Sorry, I have no idea how to spell their names).
Jason: I am here to prove that she is a disgusting whore who took advantage
of my client.
Kara: I am here to prove that..um..he stole my clients bleach!
Judge Reed: (Banging gavel on table) Okay, our counselors will have 90 seconds to prove that their clients, Justin and Britney, are not to blame...Jason, lets start with you...
Jason: Okay, Justin. Why don't you tell our jury how you met Britney?
Justin: Well, it's like this right? I wuz on dat show the Mickey Mouse Club, and all da sudden one day she be all up one me and I was like say what???
Jason: And what was your impression of Little Miss Britney?
Justin: Well, I was like "Whoa whatta ho!", yeah! And I figured that maybe I could get some, but I ain't know what a little disease infested whore shewas.
Jason: So who made the first move?
Justin: She did. All da sudden she was all up in my junk. I was like yo, dis ain't crunk.
Jason: So, what you're saying is that you tried to resist Miss Britney, but she continually came on to you? Justin: Yeah, dat's it...
Jason: (Bangs thingie that stops clock)
Kara: Britney, why don't you tell us how you really met Justin.
Britney: Well, like uh huh. Fun breeze!
Kara: Britney, you are such an idiot! Why don't you tell us about your first date?
Britney: Oh, like okay! So anyways, I like asked Justin out on a date with me, and I like told him that I was like going to like you know do it you know? So anyways, we went to a basketball game and I was like Oh My God, I love basketball, but I really didn't! I only said that like because Justin loves it, because I like love Justin and stuff! Uh, huh. Did you know that I like used to tour with NSYNC?
Kara: (Sighs, and hits the thingie)
Jason: Well, um...Justin, why don't you tell us about the first date?
Justin: Well, it was like I was goin to dis b-ball game in da first place and Britney said dat if I didn't take her wit me, she'd like sit on me, so I was like aight. But when we were there she ate 6 hot dogs and I was like DAYUM! She was a freakin' whore but I wanted some, so I was like aight, I guess this would be okay! Keep in mind, I had no taste back then! So I went along wit' dis...(Buzzer Buzzes)
Kara: Okay, Brit. Why don't you tell us about the breakup?
Britney: Okay, well like, we went out for like 3 months and then all of a sudden Justin was like you know I hate you and he just left and so we broke up because he said I was a whore and he found out I was like sleeping with a bunch of other guys.
Britney: I had to keep my job!!! (Buzzer buzzes)
Judge Reed: Well, that was um...interesting. Well, we'll be back for the You Did It, Now Admit It! round! ***COMMERCIAL BREAK***
Setting:They are standing at the thingie where they do the like
um...thingie. You know what I mean...
Judge Reed: Welcome to the You Did It, Now Admit It round. Each contestant will be dared to reveal one dirty secret to our jury. They can reveal their secret or plead the fifth. The contestant who admits the most will get to reveal their special witness! Britney, let's start with you!!!
Britney: (Struggling to read) Justin, you are such a basketball freak! Why don't you admit what is in your "B-Ball File"?
Justin: I'll admit it! I once stayed home to watch a basketball tournament instead of going out with her. Once you've seen one skank you've seen themall!
Judge Reed: That's right! Justin, you're turn!
Justin: Britney, you are such a fake. Why don't you admit what's in your "Plastic Skank File"?
Britney: Like, uh huh! I'll admit it. I've had plastic boobs since I was 9 years old. Plus, my lips are silicon injected and my hair is all a weave.
Judge Reed:...Uh, yeah! Your turn, you freak!
Britney: Justin, you are so selfish! Why don't you tell everyone what's in your "Bleach Files"?
Justin: I'll admit it! Once she asked to use my bleach and I said no, because I needed it. You gots to keep the girlies happy y'know?
Judge Reed: Correcto! Justin?
Justin: Britney, you are so cheap. Why don't you admit what's in your "Clothing File"?
Britney: Okay, I'll admit it! Sometimes, I dig through garbage cans for my clothes. Doesn't everybody?
Judge Reed: Bleach. Brit, your turn, you trash!
Britney: Justin, you are such a wimp! Why don't you admit what's in your "Fake-n-Bake File"?
Justin: Hellz y'all, I'll admit it! She wanted me to to put on that fake tan with her, but I said NO, because I didn't want to look orange like her!
Judge Reed: Absolutely, and how orange she looks! Justin?
Justin: Britney, you are so dirty! Why don't you admit what's in your "Razor Files"?
Britney: I'll admit it! I have facial hair and I shave it! What's wrong withit?
Judge Reed: Well, since you both admitted the same amount of embarrassing secrets, you each get a witness. Unfortunantly, Britney doesn't have any friends, so we can't continue with this so it wouldn't be fair. Oh well!
Britney: Fun breeze!!!
Judge Reed: Um...Okay, now it's time for the Cross Ex round of the game, after this break! ***COMMERCIAL BREAK***
Judge Reed: Welcome back, now each counselor will question their opposition!
Kara: Justin, why don't you tell us about VERONICA?
Kara: The crackhead! Justin: Yeah? I went out with her after I dated Britney.
Kara: Are you sure?
Justin: Well, yeah! Even I couldn't handle two skanks at once!!!
Kara: So, why did you break up with Britney.
Justin: It's pretty obvious!
Kara: Yes, I know....I mean, no why?
Justin: She be a skank and a ho. I don't need none of dat!!!
Kara: Okay fine!!! (Hit's buzzer thing)
Jason: So Brit? Have you had any other boyfriends since Justin?
Britney: Well, does my cousin count?
Jason: NO!!!! Ewww....continues to vomit for the remainder of the 90 seconds and the buzzer goes off!
Kara: Um...Justin, Britney said that she often saw the name "Lynn" on your caller I.D! Who is this?
Justin: Dat's my mom yo!
Kara: Oh, I have nothing...(Buzzer goes off)
Judge Reed: There was one part of our case the viewers didn't get to see. When our contestants came in, the jury decided on who was to blame based on looks alone. And the result of this are: Justin 23% and Britney 77%. Now here's a commercial part! ***COMMERCIAL BREAK****
Judge Reed:Okay, now it's time for the Karaoke round of testimony!
Kara: My client may have cheated on Justin, but now she just wants one more chance. So, she will sing her own song "...Baby, One More Time!".
Crowd: (Cringes and puts on ear plugs)
Britney: Oh baybee baybee....(Sings song and shatters glass in karaokechamber)
Jason: Justin, is scared and offended by Britney's obssession with him, and
now my client will sing "Beat It", by Michael Jackson!
Justin: Beat it, beat it.....(Sounds beautiful...Just thought you'd like to know!!!)
Judge Reed: Okay, vote now. Push the button on the left if you think Justin is to blame and the button on the right if you think Britney is to blame! Allright, the jury had decided and here are the results. With a vote of..oh my gosh...100% to 0%, the jury has decided that Britney is to blame for the breakup!
Jason: Now, Britney has 15 seconds to beg for forgiveness. Justin can choose to accept her apology or he can snap her picture with the BLAME GAME camera, and the picture will be published in Entertainment Weekly under the heading "Do not date this BLAME GAME loser!". Britney, you have 15 seconds...
Britney: Justin, like oh my god. I am so sorry! What can I say? (Begins to
sing..well sort of...) You're all I ever wanted...
Justin: (While taking picture) Damn, first you cheat on me and now you butcher my song. No way chica!
Judge Reed: Well, Justin has taken vindication! Thank you for watching THE BLAME GAME!